WAP (Wet Ass Pirates)
Jack | 29 | Queer | He/Him | original writing & art @calicoy || OFMD | Ted Lasso | IT | Good Omens | Watcher | Star Trek

About Me!

Hi, I’m Jack! I’m 29 and I use he/him pronouns. You might know me as @/calicojackofficial - which still exists as a writing and art sideblog, now @calicoy. On this blog you’ll find fandom and personal posts. Everything is tagged for easy filtering.

Navigation

Fandom

ofmd | ted lasso | it (muschietti) | watcher | go (good omens) | leverage | dc | marvel | star trek | jirt (tolkien properties) | taz | black sails | holmes (various sherlock holmes iterations) | music | please (thirst tag) | hc (headcanons) | otplus (polyam ‘ships) | gen (platonic 'ships) | my fic | my art | reading process (internet safety, media literacy, liveblogs) | fic rec | miscellaneous horror tag

Personal

jack facts (all original posts) | jack chats (asks, tag games, polls) | ft. jack (selfies, picrews) | soc (social issues, current events) | children are people tag | infinite diversity (disability & neurodivergence tag) | rodents of unusual size (capybaras) | rodents of regular size (mice, rats, etc) | wing of bat (bats)

Content Warnings

lemon (explicit content) | lime (mature content) | orange (suggestive content) | body horror/ | zombie/ | possession/ | medical/ | poison/ | gore/ | unreality/ | fire/ | drowning/ | death/ | abuse/ | flashing/ | incest/ | cannibalism/ | clown/ | rpf/ | spinning/ | optical illusion/ | war/ | suicide/ | needle/ | paranoia/ | current events/ | eye strain/ | I tag things I’m not sure about 'ask to tag’ but you can ask for anything to be tagged and I’ll let you know promptly and without judgement if I can do that for you

DO NOT FOLLOW IF:

  • you are under sixteen years old
  • your main blog has a H4rry P0tter url

You might not WANT to follow if:

  • you are an “anti” or are pro-censorship, including for such content as RPF (Real Person Fiction), “non-con”, etc
  • you are not comfortable viewing content about sex, romance, kink, polyamory, etc. This content will not be tagged unless it’s explicit. It will not be hidden behind a cut unless it’s very long.
  • you are not comfortable viewing fictional violence. This content will not be tagged unless I think it’s particularly graphic. (I will never post real world violence for any reason.)
  • you are not comfortable with casual swearing/profanity, including reclaimed slurs. This content will be frequent and never tagged.

Ask & Chat Guidelines

DO send me asks about:

My WIPs, fic, and art | fandom figures I’ve blogged about or that you think I would like | yourself!

DO NOT send me asks about:

“Passing” | Race & Antisemitism | Wank/“Discourse” | the shitty stuff in the news | A/B/O & “Cis-Swapping” | Incest & Pseudo-Incest

DO NOT hit on me, send me sexual fantasies that involve me, or try to cyber with me. I’m comfortable with sexually explicit asks about fandom figures, original characters, sex/kink/relationships as a general topic, and even discussing real world experiences! But I am not “available” or a sexual object.

DO NOT call me by any pet name or title without permission.

imagine getting paid to kiss viggo mortensen. that truly would be a dream.

izzyspussy:

izzyspussy:

i’m back on my what if they took smeagol back to the shire with them and he and frodo had the weirdest most indefinable relationship beyond the comprehension of all the races of middle earth and also sam was there bullshit

sam would force feed smeagol delicious cooked meals until he could eat halfling food again, and frodo would force sam to try tartare as reciprocation

smeagol and sam would be the most hateful metamours of all time. sam would go home to rosie and bitch for a solid hour straight without breaths, and rosie would be like yes dear it’s horrible. and then sam’d go back the next day.

izzyspussy:

i’m back on my what if they took smeagol back to the shire with them and he and frodo had the weirdest most indefinable relationship beyond the comprehension of all the races of middle earth and also sam was there bullshit

sam would force feed smeagol delicious cooked meals until he could eat halfling food again, and frodo would force sam to try tartare as reciprocation

how do you lose an ent wife? you forget to cherish her

i’m back on my what if they took smeagol back to the shire with them and he and frodo had the weirdest most indefinable relationship beyond the comprehension of all the races of middle earth and also sam was there bullshit

i like that sam keeps calling aragorn strider. samwise gamgee would never use anything but a homie’s chosen name.

frodo misremembering gandalf’s words as he sets out (he thinks) alone, from “we have only to decide what to do with the time that is given to us” to “you have only… the time that is given to you”. actually kill me.

knight of swords boromir my fucking beloved here he comes i love him so much

izzyspussy:

izzyspussy:

izzyspussy:

izzyspussy:

some of these shots are truly so matched up with tarot cards i would instantly believe it if someone told me they’d done it on purpose

i mean the black riders holding four swords vertically parallel over a prone hobbit in front of a window. hello?

and the four of swords represents reaching the first milestone of a long journey, being on your own for the first time, and staying quiet/hidden. hello??

why is it that perfect. WHY is it that perfect. answer me peter.

five wraiths surrounding four hobbits in the middle of the night, all of them with swords drawn

nine of swords represents sleepless nights, overpowering fear, and injury. answer me peter.

aragorn standing alone to rescue frodo within a spiritual realm, wielding one burning torch

ace of wands represents pure potential, a sign that you are on the right path (i.e. they can trust him), and taking quick decisive action, all with the strong spirituality inherent to the suit.

peter. answer me.

galadriel walking between two pillars, one in light and one in dark, to a basin of blessed water

i don’t think i need to describe the high priestess. you get it.

aragorn holding up his sword in front of his face before once again battling many foes alone

the ace of swords represents sudden new clarity and finding solution in a new path, right when aragorn realizes they have to let frodo go alone.

i wonder if he’ll be every ace.

boromir making the gollum noise right before he comes out of the ring madness. never noticed that before. sean bean i’m stealing something out your house.

izzyspussy:

izzyspussy:

izzyspussy:

some of these shots are truly so matched up with tarot cards i would instantly believe it if someone told me they’d done it on purpose

i mean the black riders holding four swords vertically parallel over a prone hobbit in front of a window. hello?

and the four of swords represents reaching the first milestone of a long journey, being on your own for the first time, and staying quiet/hidden. hello??

why is it that perfect. WHY is it that perfect. answer me peter.

five wraiths surrounding four hobbits in the middle of the night, all of them with swords drawn

nine of swords represents sleepless nights, overpowering fear, and injury. answer me peter.

aragorn standing alone to rescue frodo within a spiritual realm, wielding one burning torch

ace of wands represents pure potential, a sign that you are on the right path (i.e. they can trust him), and taking quick decisive action, all with the strong spirituality inherent to the suit.

peter. answer me.

galadriel walking between two pillars, one in light and one in dark, to a basin of blessed water

i don’t think i need to describe the high priestess. you get it.

everyone fail a wisdom saving throw real quick

god pippin is such a baby. he’s my little boy.

VIT